Tax Day menu contest: rags, riches and cheese
April 15th 18th is fast approaching!*
culture readers, what will April 16 19th look like? Will you celebrate your rebate with Champagne and Epoisses, or tighten your belt with tapwater and dry rinds?
We're giving away a pair of prizes to spur your bacchanal or help loft you over the lean times!
Post your ideal apres-filing menu, along with your estimated payment or return (the contest is anonymous, but you wouldn't cheat on your taxes, right?). A crack team of financial experts headed by culture's own long-suffering bookkeeper Roland Timmons will select one winner each each from the most luxurious, and the most abject proposals.
• The most depressing payment + menu combo will receive our indulgent centerfold cheese, a rare delicacy to soften the impending fiscal crisis.
• The most envy-inducing return + menu pair will receive our frugal cheeseplate as a reminder of simple pleasures. (What do they need our help for, anyway?)
To enter, post a comment below. Be sure to log in (it's in the top right corner of our orange menu bar) or include your email address so we can contact you if you're the winner! Entries should be 100 words or less, judged on creativity and levity. Visual aides are permitted: include the link and we'll do our best to get them posted to the thread.
Deadline is April 15 18, but shouldn't you get it done ahead of time this year?
*A sharp-eyed reader pointed out that the federal filing deadline for 2010 is actually April 18th, giving you three extra days to get your menu in and win cheese.
Meet the judges:
Roland Timmons: Culture's intrepid bookkeeper, Roland also functions as our resident farmer, tilling the earth in Otis, MA when he's not signing our paychecks.
Cindy Davis: When customCEsocial's Principal, Cindy Davis, doesn't have her head down trying to import and sort company expenses from various accounts to hand-off for her accountant, she is having much more fun helping consumer electronics companies spread the word about their really cool gadgets via social media.
Barbara Wolken: Barbara is co-founder and director of the Academic Enrichment Center, an organization which specializes in helping students of all ages feel confident and capable in school and beyond. Reluctant account-balancers take note: ACE offers tutoring in reading, writing, math, and study skills with an emphasis on executive function.
Photo courtesy of John-Morgan
tax day cheese meal
Not only do I owe money for 2010 but I was audited for 2008 AND 2009 so I owe even more than I had expected :( In honor of these 3 sad years I'd like a 3 course cheese meal! Lets begin with Cowgirl Creamery's Red Hawk paired with a garlicky relish on stone ground wheat crackers and a tall glass of ipa. Next a nice melty Perrin raclette on potatoes with a lively pinot gris. Last I'd like Colston Basset Stilton with a glass of Bin 27 LBV port to round it all out.
OUCH - that's gotta hurt
OUCH - that's gotta hurt really bad. I just took a minute of silence for you and will eat some cheese. Do you think that you got audited because you might have taken cheese and libations as deductions? NOT that I am suggesting. I would have to say that these items could come under that deduction category of "medical." What better way to relieve the stress of a day (or being audited) than the wonderful assortments you have outlined. It is said that stress elevates your bad cholesterol, so this sounds good to me. However, you submitted your post as "Anonymous." If you want to win, share your user name and email address.
Cindy Davis
did i make it?
Its before midnight. Here's my user name :)
It was before midnight
It was before midnight SOMEWHERE!
Cindy Davis
Oh, taxes, how I hate you
As a contract employee, I always owe, and then I owe the estimated payments for the next year as well. No way around it, it's a taxing time. On the plus side, there was a medical, uh ... excursion ... that is now a tidy deductable for last year (whoo hoo! deduction!) but I'm still paying off that debt (boo hoo! bills! waaahhh!) and there was an unfortunate period of ... er, non-work-time, which severely impacted the ability to buy good cheese in more than crumb-like quantities. And now we start the estimated payments all over again. So, I'll be celebrating with a few generic aspirin, a big glass of locally-sourced tap water, and perhaps a fresh and minty toothpick.
Kudos for choosing
Kudos for choosing "crumb-like quantities" of good cheese. I would take good crumblies of cheese over individually wrapped slices any day. So what was your choice cheese on a contract employee budget?
Cindy Davis
Those crumbles would have
Those crumbles would have been a locally-sourced goat's milk feta. Lots of flavor packed in a little bit of cheese, and it can make a pasta salad, a green salad or even a hot entree a little more special.
And as a plus, those feta
And as a plus, those feta crumbles would match well with that minty toothpick ;-)
Love your references to
Love your references to locally-produced foods and resources!
Broke
My Grand Total payment ( 1 IRS payment, 2 states) = $1,683. And a part of that payment was literally $1 to the state of NJ! Therefore, this year to celebrate tax day I am looking for donations of food and wine from friends in the industry. So far I have had a friendly donation of Brie de Nangis and Dalmatia Fig Spread which I will be turning into a lovely Grilled Cheese Sandwich. And to complement my grilled cheese.... a bottle of Branscott Estates Sauvignon Blanc. Might as well kill 2 birds with one stone by celebrating Grilled Cheese month and Tax Day together!
You get points for
You get points for celebrating Grilled Cheese month, but I am not buying the fact you need donations.
I hope you sent a one dollar bill to the State. The processing of the paper check will cost more.
Cindy Davis
Ruby Blues
I'm a 'mature' student in the painful throes of finishing my PhD. The good news: I don't owe any taxes. The bad news: I'm not getting any money back, either. There's something terribly unsatisfying about slaving over tortuous taxes for a net zero result. What might assuage such anti-climatic feelings? My fave comfort food, simple and satisfying: creamy cambozola slathered over chunks of fresh, crusty farmhouse bread, paired with a lush, sweet ruby port. Bliss.
Images of my honeymoon
There is nothing like a creamy blue cheese on crusty bread, but your enty threw me back to my honeymoon in the French Alps where we literally lived on cheese (in our case, chevre for the most part), light and crusty bread, and wine (though we couldn't afford a nice port). Anyway after 23 years of marriage, I still love my husband and the fact that you have conjured up wonderful memories goes a long way in my book! Bliss is right.
When a "net zero" turns into
When a "net zero" turns into a triple cream Cambozola experience you can’t lose. I'm liking it.
Cindy Davis
Luxe on a budget—I get it.
Luxe on a budget—I get it. Double points in my book for the investment in education & choice of wine: there are excellent bargains to be had in the ports... but what do our judges think?
Countering taxes with lots of Cheese
I owe $8939 to the Internal Revenue Service, and $806 to the Franchise tax board (California). Tax day deserves a special meal around here to liven things up. For an avid cheese lover, that's cheese fondue. Melted cheese at its' finest. I'll probably make the traditional fondue; with Gruyère & Emmental cheeses, a touch of white wine, and garlic rubbed on the pot before cooking. Before the fondue I will have a mixed baby green salad with feta cheese, pine nuts, sunflower seeds and black olives. For dessert I will have a bowl of blueberries and cubed sharp cheddar.
Will, it’s is not like Julia
Will, it’s is not like Julia is dining on Caciocavallo Podolico (I just looked this up on Google as "the world’s most expensive cheese" — lest I pretend to know). I think the lineup of cheeses is very modest and in fact a bit conservative with respect to needing to shell-out almost $10K.
That said, buying blueberries at the highest price point in the entire year might make this an unsound choice. Julia I hope you manage your portfolio more wisely. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blueberry According to the University of California Extension Service, Chile, New Zealand and Argentina begin harvesting in the northern hemisphere winter and continue till mid-March, when Chilean blueberries are held over in controlled-atmosphere storage for about six weeks. "As a result, blueberries reach annual peak prices in mid-April."(Gaskell, 2006)
Cindy Davis
blueberries
I live in Southern California and they are grown here. I'm a bit of a locavore, I buy most of my food from the farmers market which (by law) has to be grown within 100 miles. I do realize I'm really spoiled with all the local produce. And I buy blueberries whenever I can, they are a great cancer fighting fruit (and I"ve had cancer) so to me they are always worth the price. If they are picked fresh. I don't like blueberries that have been transported, they don't taste right.
My most sincere apologies for
My most sincere apologies for unfairly accusing you of not buying locally. I went online to see when and where blueberries were being grown right now and CA did not come up as a grower in April. Clearly I should have continued to look! I applaud your locavorian side. Blueberries are packed with antioxidants and I agree are worth the price to help fight cancer. I hope you are now and remain cancer free. And have some wine with that cheese—wine has some great antioxidants as well!
Cindy Davis
Very cunning: an all cheese
Very cunning: an all cheese meal. But will the judges really believe you can afford it with a $10,000 tax bill?!? These are seasoned professionals, remember!
not unexpected
The bill wasn't unexpected, I knew I had a lot of untaxed income. So I saved.
I think the more unbelievable part of my story is if I really am going to go through all the traditional steps and make the fondue from scratch, or buy one of the really yummy premade mixtures. Trader Joes now sells 3 types of fondue, the 'regular' Cheese/wine, as well as a beer fondue, and a microwaveable fondue in a cup. I have tried them all, and they are all really good melted cheese. And easy to prepare, and not that expensive.
But I do enjoy the ritual of the grating of the cheese, and the rubbing of the garlic.
It sounds like you are going
It sounds like you are going to make the fondue from scratch and Trader Joe's has a great selection of cheeses at great prices. Half of the experience of fondue is the ritual and it sounds like the ritual of saving money has served you well for Tax Day. I haven't tried any of Trader Joe’s pre-mixed fondues, but your recommendation warrants a try. If you have a recipe for a beer fondue - please share - that sounds interesting.
Cindy Davis
Tax Day Menu ($7,000)
I've run the numbers up, down and sideways and all I have to say is they don't look good. So what better way to lift my spirits than to take those large checks (Fed and CA) and instead of sending them to the taxman sending them to my foie gras guy, my cheese lady, my wine purveyor and some shady guy in the alley with a deep Russian accent selling caviar. Well just the though made my arteries seize up so instead I've bought two tickets to Bordeaux for some wine tasting instead. Maybe I’ll get a piece cheese too.
If Jim is trying to bribe the
If Jim is trying to bribe the judges (as in "me") with a ticket to Bordeaux - then his entry is looking pretty good. Jim, you didn't say that you had a traveling companion.
Cindy Davis
You're more than welcome to
You're more than welcome to join me. Ow! Why didn't you tell me my wife was standing behind me when I typed that.
You're more than welcome to
You're more than welcome to join me.....OW!! Why didn't you tell me my wife was standing behind me when I typed that. :(
Hope your head is okay! Just
Hope your head is okay! Just two tickets -- I'll go with your wife. It sounds like we'll get along great.
Cindy Davis
Nice try, Jim, but we need
Nice try, Jim, but we need more than generalities: whose foie gras? Duck or goose? French or Domestic?
Specifics will win you the prize!
Hudson valley foie gras grade
Hudson valley foie gras grade A. And the cheese would be from Andante at the Ferry Building farmers market and the wine would probably be a couple bottles of Krug. I'm passing on the Russian Osetra caviar, that guy scared me. I just looked at my taxes again and it's closer to $9200 state and feds so I think I'll add a bottle or two of 2000 Lafite-Rothschild. We're only playing pretend right?
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