So, a few days ago, I took it on myself as director of nonsense to post a graphic from "illustrator and wise-ass" Dyna Moe's hipster animal tumblr. I thought the artisanal charcuterie pig captured something about the eerie way sausage makers are suddenly a lot cooler than they used to be, with a nod towards the rather hipsterish meme of mascots who eat themselves.

Along with the blog post, I sent out a tweet asking why there wasn't an artisan cheesemaker version. This got picked up by somepigseattle (don't know why he chimed in-- he already had his pig), and our collective badgering prompted a reply:

@culturecheese @somepigseattle You'll get your Cheesmonger Hipster Animal as soon as one of you foodies brings me a sandwich.

Fair enough.

I sent word around. As America's #1 cheese magazine, we could get her a sandwich, right? Since all this was going down on a Thursday afternoon, it was Lassa, currently stationed in Australia, who came through with the goods, working her magic overnight.

Andrew Marcelli of the Italian ultramarket Eataly was contacted. A sandwich was prepared. The ingredients:

A.Bauer's prepared mustard
Eataly bakery baguette (double 00 flour)
Fra Mani little ham
Raschera quaglia
vinegar pepper

The word went out to the wise-ass in question, and at the culture offices, we hung on with bated breath.

And then...

@culturecheese This is my most passive-aggressive way of ordering lunch ever. Thank you. This sandwich is ridiculous.

And then...

Besides setting the aforementioned record for passive aggressive sandwiches, this may possibly go down in the books as the longest-distance lunch order (New York—California—Austrailia—New York) and most bribetastic abuse of culture resources ever.

Having tasted the power of la mordida, I wonder what else we can extort from minor internet celebrities in exchange for sandwiches. Suggestions?