So, my favorite holiday hits this weekend, and I was curious: is anyone going to risk a full-house egging and TP drape and just give away actual Babybels at the door? Delightful as these salty little snacks are, they are clearly only one short rung above toothbrushes in the Halloween hierarchy, when only sweet will do.

On the other hand, 'bels have one highly redeeming feature: the wax. What kid hasn't pulled the cheese out and made a red Pac Man from the rind? More advanced kids will take a bite from the cheese, and have a yellow and a red Pac Men to fight one another.

And once you give in and eat the rest of the cheese, and your red Pac Man starts to melt in the heat of your hand, you can ball up the wax and made a bitty red sculpture, or stick it under your desk, or use it as an adhesive to stick far more disgusting things under your desk, or slide the thin halves over your lips to make a horrible waxy kissy-face...

In any case, the Bel is a mini-muse of childhood and beyond. To illustrate, here's a slightly disturbing Halloween idea for anyone with a strong voice and no shame:

Speaking of Halloween, I'm looking for some dairy-related ghost stories to liven up (deaden down?) the blog. If you've got one you'd like to see posted, send me an email at wfertman a la culturecheesemag.com.